Dating


There are different options open to a woman now for meeting people, with the possibility of dating. Some are more discreet, some free, some involving a financial investment. Certain services are more like social or dining clubs, allowing for a randomness in the meeting. Others (involving $) selectively match folks up. Then there is the middle ground of a selected group of people (say, at a dinner), where some attention has been paid to the interests of individuals in the small sampling.

There is something for everyone, depending on how outgoing a woman is. No matter what, recognize that it is an investment of time, hope and emotional energy, and sometimes, just taking the one small step is the most important thing she can do for herself as she embarks on a personal journey.

Online dating*

In some ways, this is the easiest, and yet the most terrifying, if you were married 20 years ago, and were involved in family life, while the world progressed in interesting ways. The internet is a viable way now to meet people. There are many different services, which offer different levels of anonymity. Alll offer communication within the site, without your having to give out your phone no. or personal email, until such time as you are comfortable doing so. Many will guide you through different stages of communication. Some have online chat rooms (not comfortable for many), and some deliver your "matches" directly to your "subscription" mailbox.

Here are some of the services available. These are suggestions that might give you ideas, but you should go to the sites and investigate cost, and whether or not you are comfortable with the system. All these can boast of fairy-tale endings, but not every service is for everyone. Remember that once you have chosen your "vehicle," do it properly i.e. get a good, recent photo, take time writing your profile and give the service a chance with the questions that are asked of you. Try not to fall into the trap of emailing forever and pouring your heart out, or even just having extended telephone conversations. The pressure of success or failure can build up too much this way, as it is crucial that the face-to-face meeting takes place as soon as possible.

http://www.match.com Easily the most well-known online dating source, and also one with an enormous "database," there have been good outcomes, as well as references to a "meat market."

http://www.eharmony.com This makes you take a personality test of sorts, devised by the doctor who founded it. Matches are delivered to your box, and you are guided through different stages of communication. Some complain that they do not have access to the whole database, but of course, this does provide more privacy.

http://www.perfectmatch.com This became vastly popular after the movie "Must Love Dogs." You are asked to take a personality test, and then matches are delivered to your box, but you also have access to the database.

http://www.myspace.com This has recently received bad publicity because of predators on young people, but again, there are happy endings (or beginnings) through this service designed for a wide range of ages.

 

Drag along a girlfriend and sign up for a speed-dating event. Some find this a lot of fun. Depending on the type of event, you get to meet between 20-30 men, following rules set by the organizers. You will get to exchange pleasantries for approximately3-5 minutes, and will take discreet notes and say whether it's "yes" or "no." By the next day, you receive an email, and if the "yes"es coincide, the email addresses will be given out, and then it's up to you. For the shy, this can be overwhelming. It is not possible to have an in-depth conversation, but you immediately see if you are attracted to each other and if there is any sort of spark.

 

Personalized individual services

Springing from the difficulties with meeting people post-divorce etc., are personalized matchmaking services. These are not available in every city or town. Two of the most well-known are "It's Just Lunch" and "Great Expectations." With the former, no photos are shown. The organization hand-picks the matches, and you get a call to check schedules and then are set up for a date at a specific time and place. Supposedly, you will have things in common, and again, there are happy stories and funny stories! The latter service uses photos and even videos and it is possible to maintain a high degree of anonymity, so that you will only be seen by the person(s) of your choice. Both of these (and others similar to them) involve a substantial cash outlay, in itself their screening process.

Personalized "group" meetings

There are also franchises in limited areas like "Eight at Eight" or "Table for Six." There will obviously be an even number of men and women, grouped according to age range and interests, and it is basically a dinner party. If parties show interest in each other, they are then put in touch, and it progresses (or not) from there. The advantage is that it is fairly non-threatening, and you get to see a person's social interaction and conversational skills over a a very normal activity like dinner! Check online to see  if there are "clubs" or services of this sort in your area.

Other types of clubs

These would include dining clubs, singles travel clubs, special interest clubs and even charity walks, classes etc. For example, in certain cities, there is a dining franchise called "The Single Gourmet." For a membership fee, you get to join and decide on which events or dinners to attend, and pay ahead for the dinners. There is an opportunity to mingle and there is a randomness to the mix, which can be both good or not so good. This particualr organization also organizes travel e.g. holiday cruises. It is a way to do something fun for yourself, and to meet interesting people, whether they be men OR women!